Day 3 (yesterday)
Yesterday was a busy day for me, and I reaped the rewards of not being so tied to food, particularly the cooking of it.I got home late from work and had to be somewhere a mere half hour later. So I picked up some fruit, changed pants, and headed out without worrying about what to eat for dinner. I ate roughly eight tangerines, three apples, and two bananas, without feeling like I was struggling or hungry all day. When hunger did arise I ate an apple, or banana. It felt very clean and freeing from the usual, "oh no I'm starving, what am I going to eat?" dilema.
Up to this point I have been doing the fruit cleanse by myself. My significant other has been away on a job, and he came home today and also started to eat only fruit. I wondered at how this was going to work with us, being especially sensitive to the fact that I can't give off any "I've been doing this longer then you and therefore am superior vibes". This wasn't an issue today and we had a good day of catching up while eating bananas. I do feel a certain loss at the bonding that takes place during a meal and even during the cooking of it, but feeling energized and generally uplifted makes up for it. I'm shown that the authentic bonding that we so long for has nothing to do with dinner plates but with the harmony that arises from resonating with the vibration of love or peace or any of those warm and fuzzy frequencies.
I did feel a stangeness when T (my other) suggested that we cook the breadfruit he bought in coconut milk with a fresh papaya added into the stew. It 's all fruit, but cooking the things seemed like cheating a bit. However, given the special circumstances, I didn't see a reason to make a big deal about it, and T made a wonderful hot meal for us. I ate it with pleasure, mindful to enjoy but remain detached from fulfilling further sensual desires. Once you do that there's never an end to the wants. You end up chasing one pleasure after another on a continuous roller coaster ride of highs and lows. There's nothing wrong with that, but I have decided for myself to seek freedom from such bondage, and so here I am, watching my desires with pleasure. I think that's the freakiest part of this so far. I am actually enjoying myself. Its not a struggle or a test of will power. Its a pleasure to dive into this bottomless well and get lost in the unbearable lightness of being. What could be better then that. Pizza?